Life goes on.

Lots of people are leaving.
Heaps of shit is changing.
Everyone is growing up.

And I'm fucking scared.

It's not the whole idea of growing up that scares me, adulthood looks nice, I suppose.

But it's all the choices we have to make.
People tell us that we don't need to make life changing decisions when we're young. I mean, we're ignorant adolescents, what do we know?
Okay so we're relatively good at those decisions like "what should I wear today?" and "holy shit, coco pops or toast? MIND FUCK." (well I know I do...) but when we're asked to choose prerequisite subjects for a career I don't even know I want to have, I just want to bury my head under a pillow until it's over.
What if I want to change career paths when I'm 24? What if I'm no longer interested in being a child psychologist, because in actual fact I've known for quite a while that I can't stand children, let alone those with issues?
What if I didn't do the prerequisite subjects, and am now, in laments terms, utterly up shit creek?
What if I don't want to do maths, yet everyone has told me I should?
What if I drop out now and become a stripper named Cherine?
Maybe the teachers never assumed we didn't all want amazingly prestigious jobs.
Hell, I'm sure there's at least one kid who's got his heart set on becoming a derro living in a dumpster in Hosier Lane.
Why do I have to make all these decisions NOW when I still have trouble deciding which shoes to wear with which dress?!
I don't want to turn 21 and look back at when I was making these choices, and regret that I didn't do maths or a specific subject.
But I don't want to do it, hate it, and in the end not benefit from it and have wasted mine and the teachers time.

Also, its scary to think that in less than two years I'll most likely have my P-plates.
I'll be able to drive wherever I want, I'll have more freedom.
Heck, maybe I'll even have a car. (It's either that or invest in a bicycle that makes car noises and has rear-vision mirrors).
My friends will be grown up too.
Some I mightn't stay in touch with, some I'm not even close with now.
But it's frightening to think that school has given everyone so many connections and they can all be lost just because of a simple act of laziness. (I'll be the lazy one so I'm being preemptively hypocritical) but.. I'm honestly scared guys.

I don't want to lose people.
I don't want my life to go badly downhill.
I don't want to do maths.


So I'll listen to this song instead.
Its saaaa pretty.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWify5zd61o