My god, we're hilarious when we argue.
Alison:"Felicity
Thom likes Guys who actually appreciate
girls instead of using them for sex."
this disturbs and amuses me.
...mostly disturbs.
Me: You cockrocket, I never said I was with the guys.
I know guys who are doing that to their girlfriends and its fucking sick.
Only with them so they can get a free root.
ffs woman. T_T
go learn how to reverse a car before you drive it into a pool or something.
I know guys who are doing that to their girlfriends and its fucking sick.
Only with them so they can get a free root.
ffs woman. T_T
go learn how to reverse a car before you drive it into a pool or something.
Alison: 1. I am not a "cockrocket".
2. "Free roots" are an important aspect of being male. (It is how the population of Frankston has thrived for so long.) Also, if your friends are too thick to notice they're being played, they're probably just in it for the free root as well.
3. How dare you. We dont even have a pool.
2. "Free roots" are an important aspect of being male. (It is how the population of Frankston has thrived for so long.) Also, if your friends are too thick to notice they're being played, they're probably just in it for the free root as well.
3. How dare you. We dont even have a pool.
2. I know they are, it's the ones who stick with the girl JUST for the free roots that disgust me.
I wouldn't give if they were off playing other people, but its the one person that gets constantly played, thinking they're in a trusting relationship when in actual fact they're just more exciting than the guys hand.
3. It won't be our pool.
Alison: 1. I am not in denial about my true self, but it is writ that The Messiah shalt not openly declare thyself The Messiah to man.
2. I refer to the phrase frequently used by feminists: "All Men Are Bastards". With the exception of Robert Downey Jr.
3. Damn. I'll need to get better insurance then if I still want to get a hilarious entry on womendrivers.com
Me: 1. You just openly admitted you are the messiah to me.on facebook.
you suck, jesus.
2. Can Jude Law be excluded from that phrase as well?
Not all men are bastards..... See more
Just the ones with small penises and low self esteems.
3. Make sure I'm not in the car when you plunge it into a swimming pool.
Alison: 1. No I didnt. I just casually offered you that tasty fact. The Bible is so interesting. It's just lucky I read it every night so that I remember it all.
2. No. He fucked his child's hot nanny while he was married. He is a bastard. Most men are bastards until age 35, when everything starts to shrink/sag/fall off and they panic about dying alone and... See more decide actually treating a woman with respect would be better than the former option.
3.Of course you won't be in the car. Who do you think is going to take the photo?
you suck, jesus.
2. Can Jude Law be excluded from that phrase as well?
Not all men are bastards..... See more
Just the ones with small penises and low self esteems.
3. Make sure I'm not in the car when you plunge it into a swimming pool.
Alison: 1. No I didnt. I just casually offered you that tasty fact. The Bible is so interesting. It's just lucky I read it every night so that I remember it all.
2. No. He fucked his child's hot nanny while he was married. He is a bastard. Most men are bastards until age 35, when everything starts to shrink/sag/fall off and they panic about dying alone and... See more decide actually treating a woman with respect would be better than the former option.
3.Of course you won't be in the car. Who do you think is going to take the photo?
Me: 1.....I was wondering why that Bible was tucked under your pillow... I knew it wasn't just because you were seeking forgiveness for the 19 years of visual assault you've put people through just by existing.
2. Who wouldn't fuck their child's hot nanny while they were married?
Robert Downey Jr did & sold drugs ffs! How does that not categorize him as a bastard?
3. Point well made.
Just make sure Dad isn't in the car at the time, or anywhere in the vicinity as I fear he may suffer a coronary.... See more
Mum, on the other hand...
I mean what? *shifty eyes*
Alison: 1. I dont keep it under my pillow anymore. I've started strapping it to my face. It stops said visual assualt and allows me to keep up with Psalms in my daily life.
2. A person with any self respect for their relationship, their family and most importantly their spouse. You have just undone your entire argument about men being interesting in women... See more for something more than sex.
3. Robert Downey Jr is a "hardcore motherfucker". Not a "bastard". Similar, but subtly different.
4. Did you just threaten to kill mum? That's awesome. We could get on A Current Affair. "Teen Driven (get it? coz I'm driving?) To The Edge By Condescending Mother"
2. Who wouldn't fuck their child's hot nanny while they were married?
Robert Downey Jr did & sold drugs ffs! How does that not categorize him as a bastard?
3. Point well made.
Just make sure Dad isn't in the car at the time, or anywhere in the vicinity as I fear he may suffer a coronary.... See more
Mum, on the other hand...
I mean what? *shifty eyes*
Alison: 1. I dont keep it under my pillow anymore. I've started strapping it to my face. It stops said visual assualt and allows me to keep up with Psalms in my daily life.
2. A person with any self respect for their relationship, their family and most importantly their spouse. You have just undone your entire argument about men being interesting in women... See more for something more than sex.
3. Robert Downey Jr is a "hardcore motherfucker". Not a "bastard". Similar, but subtly different.
4. Did you just threaten to kill mum? That's awesome. We could get on A Current Affair. "Teen Driven (get it? coz I'm driving?) To The Edge By Condescending Mother"
Me: 1. It must be an awfully small Bible, because I still feel horrifically assaulted whenever I see you. Maybe I've just become immune.
2. Bugger that, Jude Law is still fucking sexy.
3. Go shit in your shoe.
4. Perhaps I did. Yes, I get it. Nice pun, muff face.
You'd get arrested, how fun. ... See more
At least then prisoners would physically abuse you for all the visual assault you've caused people over time.
Alison: I like how your argument now relies less and less on valid points, and more on calling me a muff face and insinuating prison shower scenes.
This amuses me greatly.
I win.
PS. As it happens it is my pocket Bible. I keep one in all my pockets. And on my face.
Peace be with you.
Me: As may already be astonishingly obvious, my intelligence decreases as the evening goes on.
Insults are how I get by, muff face.
Pfft, you live for the prison shower scenes.
I'm now tempted to stickytape a bible to your face.
2. Bugger that, Jude Law is still fucking sexy.
3. Go shit in your shoe.
4. Perhaps I did. Yes, I get it. Nice pun, muff face.
You'd get arrested, how fun. ... See more
At least then prisoners would physically abuse you for all the visual assault you've caused people over time.
Alison: I like how your argument now relies less and less on valid points, and more on calling me a muff face and insinuating prison shower scenes.
This amuses me greatly.
I win.
PS. As it happens it is my pocket Bible. I keep one in all my pockets. And on my face.
Peace be with you.
Me: As may already be astonishingly obvious, my intelligence decreases as the evening goes on.
Insults are how I get by, muff face.
Pfft, you live for the prison shower scenes.
I'm now tempted to stickytape a bible to your face.
Also. Was this even a competition?
Alison: Ah, we're calling it "intelligence" now, are we?
Muff face might just catch on. It's definitely superior to cock rocket.
I try to aim slightly higher than living for prison shower scenes. Also,
have you not been paying attention to this thread? I already have a perfectly good Bible on my face.
And yes. As my sibling, my life is a competition with you. Whoever wins gets to live and leave the nest and prosper in the wild. It's harsh, but that's how nature works...
Me: Well generally people consider it to be 'scribblings of a retard' rather than intelligence.
It might catch on. I hope it does. Don't let it die! Muff face.
It takes you an awful long time to reply to these things, yet I can see you're not busy as we're sitting less than two metres away....
Your bible must be small, I can't even see it.
& wow, that's something to look forward to.. and who exactly decides on the winner?
Alison: Its not a literal bible. It's in my mind. And my heart. And on the face of every child. In the eye of every lamb.
Or something like that.
I decide, muff face. Basically in about three years I'm going to kill you. You might think I'm sitting here doing nothing but actually I'm formulating a complex Wile. E. Coyote-style plan for your untimely demise.
Me: Then I shall stick a literal one on there, for fun and amusement and a break from the eyesore of which you've become.
Had you never noticed that all of Wile. E Coyete's plans backfired on him?
Have fun with that, Einstein ;)
Alison: The key difference between me and Wile E. Coyote is that I am not Wile. E. Coyote and I do not get my murderous tools from ACME. Thus my plan shalt not backfire.
I look forward to receiving His love on my face.
(lols)
Me: I look forward to watching you epically fail, as you have done so previously in your life.
It'll be the only love you receive on your face mate.
Alison: Well of course it will, no one is going to love me with a fucking Bible strapped to my head are they??
Then again, you never know. Some Christians could get randy.
I have never in my life failed epically.
Me No one will love you if they're able to see your face!
Have you never? Does stacking it up the stairs in front of the school not constitute an epic fail?
Alison: :O
Me: I DID!
Let me remind you that it was in fact YOU who said in the first place that the Bible was there to shield your ugliness?
Does said blind man also have no taste of touch, smell or taste?... See more
He better not, otherwise your relationship won't last long.
Stock up on your cats, crazy cat lady. You'll need them for the company.
Alison: THIS HAS CROSSED THE LINE
WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN FOR?!
Me: YOU FUCKING STARTED IT,
YOU MUFF MUNCHER!
and thus concludes the most pointless argument of the weekend.
I hope it brought some smiles :)
<3 effy.
Alison: Ah, we're calling it "intelligence" now, are we?
Muff face might just catch on. It's definitely superior to cock rocket.
I try to aim slightly higher than living for prison shower scenes. Also,
have you not been paying attention to this thread? I already have a perfectly good Bible on my face.
And yes. As my sibling, my life is a competition with you. Whoever wins gets to live and leave the nest and prosper in the wild. It's harsh, but that's how nature works...
Me: Well generally people consider it to be 'scribblings of a retard' rather than intelligence.
It might catch on. I hope it does. Don't let it die! Muff face.
It takes you an awful long time to reply to these things, yet I can see you're not busy as we're sitting less than two metres away....
Your bible must be small, I can't even see it.
& wow, that's something to look forward to.. and who exactly decides on the winner?
Alison: Its not a literal bible. It's in my mind. And my heart. And on the face of every child. In the eye of every lamb.
Or something like that.
I decide, muff face. Basically in about three years I'm going to kill you. You might think I'm sitting here doing nothing but actually I'm formulating a complex Wile. E. Coyote-style plan for your untimely demise.
Me: Then I shall stick a literal one on there, for fun and amusement and a break from the eyesore of which you've become.
Had you never noticed that all of Wile. E Coyete's plans backfired on him?
Have fun with that, Einstein ;)
Alison: The key difference between me and Wile E. Coyote is that I am not Wile. E. Coyote and I do not get my murderous tools from ACME. Thus my plan shalt not backfire.
I look forward to receiving His love on my face.
(lols)
Me: I look forward to watching you epically fail, as you have done so previously in your life.
It'll be the only love you receive on your face mate.
Alison: Well of course it will, no one is going to love me with a fucking Bible strapped to my head are they??
Then again, you never know. Some Christians could get randy.
I have never in my life failed epically.
Me No one will love you if they're able to see your face!
Have you never? Does stacking it up the stairs in front of the school not constitute an epic fail?
Alison: :O
OH YOU DIDNT
YOUUUUUU MOTHERFUCKER
and you fail to take into account a very very blind man.
YOUUUUUU MOTHERFUCKER
and you fail to take into account a very very blind man.
Me: I DID!
Let me remind you that it was in fact YOU who said in the first place that the Bible was there to shield your ugliness?
Does said blind man also have no taste of touch, smell or taste?... See more
He better not, otherwise your relationship won't last long.
Stock up on your cats, crazy cat lady. You'll need them for the company.
Alison: THIS HAS CROSSED THE LINE
WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN FOR?!
Me: YOU FUCKING STARTED IT,
YOU MUFF MUNCHER!
and thus concludes the most pointless argument of the weekend.
I hope it brought some smiles :)
<3 effy.
No comments:
Post a Comment