As I wrote the title to this, the clock struck (well not really, its digital, but let's go with it anyway) 11:11 and I felt the need to do some blogging.
I had an alterior motive for this blog anyway.
I'd like to NOT sound like your usual, prying, complaining, hormonally imbalanced adolescent in the rest of this blog, but I fear I can't.
I'm fucking sick of being single.
Okay, so occasionally being single has its perks. Flings with people, random hook ups (which I never seem to get anyway), the general feeling of freedom.
But lately, all I feel is lonely.
I have my beautiful friends and family, but my heart always seems sore.
True, it may be high cholesterol due to the obscene amount of junk food I've been eating.. but I'm 98% sure that it's not.
Everytime I fuck up with someone I like, it's like a bit of my heart falls to my feet.
(No, I do not have cankles, if you were wondering..)
I just can't handle it anymore. So many people I know are always 'out with their boyfriends', blatantly spreading the word of their love through facebook.
Okay guys, I get it. Please stop making me feel like shit on your shoe.
I always seem to do the wrong thing, say something I shouldn't, text just a bit too much, think about them too much, tell them I like them. All of which are mistakes that I seem to repeatedly make. Yes, you learn from your mistakes. But that isn't a guarantee that you won't repeat them.
I wish someone had taught me that from an early age, because I can't stop fucking repeating myself.
You know how people say life is a road that you'll gradually move down? Occasionally making wrong turns, or finding new roads, but usually you get back on track.
To me, my life isn't a road. At least not a straight one. You see, I was walking down my life road, until I hit a roundabout at age 8. Now it's all I seem to do, go around in circles. Sometimes things aren't too bad, and it seems as if you might be getting away, but then you end up right back where you started.
I've run out of avenues to express my inane feelings in, painting, singing, drawing, writing and bass no longer help.
All I want is you, and I know thats possibly the one thing I'll never get :(
(well maybe that, and a flying green elephant)
...I wouldn't mind a flying green elephant.
Put that on my list guys, birthday next year ;)
<3 effy.
You'll meet someone who's perfect for you, you just shouldn't push it. Someone who thinks you say the right things, text just the right amount and say you like them at just the right time. It'll happen eventually, just wait for it.
ReplyDelete<3 foo'
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